National Bullying Prevention Month Toolkit: Conversation Starters & Action Steps
October is National Bullying-Prevention Month, a reminder that even though many of us hope bullying is “a school issue of the past,” the reality is that digital technologies and social media have amplified how children experience exclusion, shaming, and harassment.
According to the CDC, bullying can be physical, verbal, relational (social exclusion), or electronic (cyberbullying). And data from PubMed Central suggest bullying is common: in a multi-country study, about 26% of children in grades 6–10 were involved (as bully, victim, or both).
As a parent, it’s never easy to navigate this terrain, and many children don’t tell us what’s going on until things escalate. This toolkit is meant to help you spark conversations, respond effectively, and empower your child (or your family) with action steps.
Understanding Bullying Today
What is Bullying?
- Defined by School Safety Gov, Bullying involves repeated, unwanted aggressive behavior, often with a power imbalance (real or perceived).
- Online bullying (cyberbullying) includes spreading rumors, harassment, exclusion, sharing embarrassing content, or impersonation, per the CDC.
- From the same CDC article: A child can be a victim, a bully, or even a bully-victim (someone who is bullied and also bullies others).
Why It Matters
The effects reach far beyond the immediate. The following points are from Action For Healthy Kids:
- Victims of bullying are more likely to experience depression, anxiety, sleep disruption, declining academic performance, and increased absenteeism.
- Those who bully others are also at risk for long-term negative outcomes, including a greater likelihood of substance use, aggression, and difficulty in relationships.
- Witnesses / bystanders also feel the effects of bullying: guilt, uncertainty, or emotional stress, and may be more likely to avoid school or disengage socially.
Because so much bullying now happens online or in semi-private group chats, it’s easier for children to feel isolated or powerless, and harder for parents to detect what’s going on.
Conversation Starters: How to Talk With Kids About Bullying
Before your child is in crisis is the best time to start building trust and openness.
Here are some ideas and openers to try:
- “I’ve heard people talking a lot about bullying lately. What comes to your mind when you hear that word?”
- “Do you ever see things online that make kids feel bad about themselves? What do you think you’d do if you saw that?”
- “Do you feel safe at school? At recess? On social media?”
- “If you saw someone being left out or teased, what would you want to do?”
These questions help you learn the child’s language and understanding (sometimes children don’t even label something as bullying).
Tips for the Conversation:
- Listen more than you talk. Let them tell their story first, without interruption or judgment.
- Use hypothetical stories or third-person “what would you do” scenarios to ease into the topic.
- Validate their feelings: “That must have felt awful,” rather than jumping straight to solutions.
- Revisit the topic periodically. The first conversation doesn’t “solve” it; it opens the door.
If you ever sense that your child may be bullying others (or acting aggressively), lean into a conversation with care and curiosity, not shame. Ask, “Has there been a time you felt angry and acted out? What was going on?”
If Your Child Is Being Bullied: What Parents (and Kids) Can Do
What to watch for (warning signs):
- Sudden withdrawal, avoidance of school or social settings
- Unexplained changes in mood, appetite, or sleep
- Loss of friends, reluctance to use devices, or go online
- Frequent complaints of physical ailments (headaches, stomachaches)
- Damaged property, torn clothing, or lost items
Action Steps (for parent + child together):
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Stay calm, believe them, and validate. It matters deeply to a child when the adult listens and doesn’t dismiss their feelings.
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Ask clarifying, but not leading, questions. Who, when, where, what happened, how often. (Avoid accusations.)
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Help develop a safe plan. Discuss what they could do in the moment: walk away, use a calm phrase (“Please stop”), seek help from an adult. Don’t equip them with fighting back.
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Engage the school or authority when needed. Document what’s happening (dates, times, screenshots), and bring it to teachers, administrators, or counselors.
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Encourage small ways to rebuild confidence. Friendships, clubs, hobby groups, or volunteer opportunities can help restore connection and self-worth.
- Monitor well-being, and get help if needed. If you see signs of anxiety, depression, self-harm, or lasting distress, consider professional counseling.
What not to do:
- Don’t shame or blame your child (e.g. “Why didn’t you fight back?”)
- Avoid escalating conflict with parents or peers directly without school support
- Don’t tell your child to just ignore it always. Some bullying is harmful and needs intervention
One approach described in many parenting articles, like Hennepin Healthcare Medicine, is the “Walk, Talk, Squawk” slogan: walk away from the bully, talk to a trusted adult, and squawk (report) when necessary.
Some experts recommend simple deflecting phrases to avoid escalating the bully’s reaction, for example: “Okay,” “That’s your opinion,” “Maybe,” “Thanks for the information.”
If Your Child Sees Someone Else Being Bullied: Bystander Action Tips
Empowering your child to be a “helper” rather than a passive observer is one of the most powerful ways to shift culture.
Safe actions a child can take:
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Tell a trusted adult. A teacher, counselor, parent, or any authority figure. Kids teach one another not to “tattle tale,” but in this case, it’s important to tell adults.
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Support the target. A simple gesture like “Hey, do you want to hang out after class?” or “I’m sorry that happened to you” helps reduce isolation.
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Use distraction. Strike up a conversation, redirect the bully’s attention, or stage an “interruption” (e.g. drop your books).
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Be an ally online. If someone posts something nasty, help by reporting, commenting politely, or contacting someone you trust.
- Join or start a kindness project. This builds momentum beyond individual moments.
Discuss norms and roles:
Explain to your child that the “silent bystander” is often a key reason bullying continues. Bystanders choose whether to reinforce, ignore, or intervene (safely). Research shows that effective anti-bullying programs include training for bystanders to act.
Action Steps & Mini Toolkit for Kids + Families
| Goal | Action Item | Why It Helps |
| Build awareness | Keep a “feelings log,” ask your child daily: “How was recess? Did anything unkind happen?” | Helps you catch problems early |
| Role-play responses | Practice calm statements, how to walk away, and how to ask for help | Prepares your child so they aren’t caught off guard |
| Device check | Talk through privacy settings, screen shares, who can see/forward what they post | Reduces risk in online spaces |
| Create a “safe list” | List 2-3 trusted adults (teacher, coach, friend’s parent) your child can talk to | Gives them concrete options |
| Kindness challenge | Once per week, do a small act of kindness (compliment, invite someone in, volunteer, or donate) | Helps build empathy and community |
| School action | Host a “Unity Day” or kindness week (wear orange to show support) | Raises awareness and sets the school culture |
| Review resources | Bookmark StopBullying.gov, PACER’s bullying center, and local counselors | Puts help within reach |
Resources & Further Reading
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StopBullying.gov. Comprehensive guides for youth, parents, and educators.
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PACER’s National Bullying Prevention Center.
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Child Mind Institute - what to do if your child is bullying or being bullied.
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Schools' Safety / U.S. Dept. of Education. Bullying prevention strategies.
- “Bullying Prevention in Adolescence”
Closing Encouragement & Call to Action
Bullying rarely solves itself, and silence or shame only makes kids feel more alone. But you, as a parent or guardian, have a powerful role: to listen early, validate often, model empathy, and equip your child with small tools and a support network.
This National Bullying-Prevention Month, share one conversation starter or action item with another parent. Post a picture on social media wearing orange (for Unity Day) to spread awareness. Encourage your child to be a helper, not a bystander, even when that feels small.
Labeling For Confidence
As you support your child this Bullying Prevention Month, remember that even small details can make a big difference in helping them feel secure and cared for. Keeping their school supplies, clothing, and gear clearly marked with personalized Name Bubbles labels not only keeps items out of the lost-and-found but also reinforces their sense of ownership and belonging every day.
